Lowewood Academy

Mr Archibald Shaftebotham, Headmaster

Mr Shaftebotham has been the headmaster of Lowewood for seven years. He was previously deputy head, and impressed the board of govenors with his discretion and efficiency in covering up the scandal which forced the previous rather elderly head, Mr Letchmostly, to depart hastily into the night with just his pyjames and Morris Minor*

Mr Shaftebotham immediately set about transforming Lowewood by instilling the sense (and application) of discipline which had become rather lax under Mr Letchmostly. He is a firm believer in the ‘rule of thumb’, and whilst he expects his staff to be firm in their dealings with pupils, recognises that to him falls the onerous duty of meting out punishments to the most unruly and recalcitrant ones. Mr Shaftebotham is not overly anxious about academic standards, doubting somewhat the value of too much education for women, but is assiduous in cultivating the personal development of the young ladies in his charge, encouraging those hidden talents which are much appreciated by society.

Having created a well-oiled school, Mr Shaftebotham can now take a more leisurely approach to his responsibilities, but he has an unnerving ability to pop up unexpectedly and take unsuspecting young ladies by surprise.

Email Mr Shaftebotham at MrShaftebotham@lowewood-academy.co.uk

*Lord Fawcett, Chairman of the Board of Governors was most impressed that he persuaded Mr and Mrs Morris to drop their complaint against the school.

Dr Algernon Charles Higgins, Head of Dashwood House

Dr Higgins has dedicated most of his life to scientific research. Many of his publications are banned in European countries for their content, recurring themes of sadomasochism, heresy, lesbianism and irreligion, have led to most of his peers describing him as a “bright, but odd fellow”.

Dr Higgins has been known to dip into the Physics department petty cash tin for the odd flutter on the horses.  This has been noted by the Headmaster who turns a blind eye, due to the good Dr’s teaching ability.

Lord Fawcett, Chairman of the Board of Governors is an admirer of Dr Higgins work and was instrumental in the recruitment of the good Dr from his previous tenure at H.M.P. Parkhurst

Email Dr Higgins at DrHiggins@lowewood-academy.co.uk

The Reverend Abel Jenkins, Head of Wilkes House

As School Chaplain, Dr Jenkins takes a very active interest in the spiritual and moral welfare of Lowewood’s pupils. Students in Wilkes House are particularly fortunate, since Rev Jenkins combines his pastoral care as Chaplain with a more hands-on approach as their Housemaster.
At Cambridge, where he took his degree in theology, Dr Jenkins rowed in the College eight. He has maintained an active interest in paddling ever since, and will be coaching the new Lowewood rowing teams.

After ordination, he took posts at churches in a number of deprived, inner-city areas. Recognition of his efforts to help younger parishioners restore a sense of discipline to their lives led to his appointment as Resident Chaplain of Cramlington Reformatory for Girls. Four thoroughly enjoyable years followed, and his traditional approach gained widespread praise from his fellow staff (if not always from the girls concerned).
He was then recommended to Lord Fawcett as a suitable candidate for the Lowewood chaplaincy, after the somewhat hasty exit of the previous incumbent.* Reverend Jenkins is known as a strict, but often fair, disciplinarian.

* Those who recall the press coverage at the time may be pleased to hear that Reverend Thrasher will be due for parole in 2016.

Email Reverend Jenkins at RevJenkins@lowewood-academy.co.uk

Miss Natasha Golding, Staff, Classics Department

A reshuffle to allow the Rev Jenkins to spend more time on his pastoral duties has seen the appointment into the Classics Department of Natasha Golding.

Natasha, 23, is a newly qualified teacher, this being her first teaching post. She’s full of enthusiasm, and bursting with ideas; she is very strongly of the belief that education should be a two way process and as experiential as possible. She’d prefer to be using brainstorms and workshops to blackboards and textbooks, and sees no reason why this can’t be achieved, despite her choice of employer and subject.

At 5’10”, a curvy size 16 and with long black hair, Natasha cuts rather a dashing figure, particularly with her penchant for designer heels. Having had a very ordinary, lower middle class upbringing, her life changed somewhat when at the age of 19 she won a significant amount of money on the National Lottery – not enough to never have to work again, but enough to allow her to indulge freely in life’s little comforts (including champagne, nice holidays… and those shoes).

However, despite having the means to set herself up nicely in Lowerton, she has also taken on a pastoral role in Dashwood, wishing to immerse herself into boarding school life from the get-go. As such, she will be living-in.

As an ordinary (if wealthy) 23 year old, her interests include clubbing, gigs, drinking… and the opposite sex. And sometimes the same sex. When she’s out with the girls and they play the “Who would you be in Sex and the City” game… she’s inevitably Samantha. She’s more worried about what this says about her wrinkles, than what it says about her sex life.

Email: MissGolding@lowewood-academy.co.uk

Mr Peter Basford, Staff, History Department

Peter Basford was appointed to the Lowewood staff in autumn 2006, having previously taught in a number of state schools. He specialises in British History, although he is an adaptable individual and is also qualified to teach both Art and English Literature. Mr Basford is a keen sportsman, captaining the staff badminton team (much to the annoyance of Mr Tough), and will also occasionally cover for staff absences in the PE department. Unusually amongst public school staff, he favours association football over the rugby equivalent – another occasional cause of friction between himself and the games master. He is reasonably well liked by the pupils owing to the fact that his classes are usually conducted in a fairly relaxed manner, although he’s known to have a quick temper if pushed too far. Peter Basford is a single gentleman, having separated from his long term partner Rachel shortly after
taking up his post at Lowewood.

Email: MrBasford@lowewood-academy.co.uk

Miss Belinda Bellend, Headmaster’s Personal Assistant

Belinda Bellend is the long suffering personal assistant to Mr Shaftebotham, headmaster of Lowewood Academy. Age 28, she is colloquially known to the young males of Lowewood as ‘Beautiful Belinda’, thanks to her model-like figure and long blonde hair, normally worn pinned up in a severe chignon. Sadly, she is disinclined to notice the attentions of male sixth formers or male staff as she nurses a long-held crush on her boss, who in common with many men, doesn’t know a good thing when it’s right in front of him.

Belinda sees a lot of what goes on and knows all the secrets, but has so far resisted providing inside information to Glory in the Fight. At 28, she thinks she’s rather old to be spanked like a sixth-former when she makes mistakes, but Mr Shaftebotham likes her to strive for perfection.

Belinda is best friends with Miss Isadora Duncan (Izzy) who teaches dance and Miss Aurelia Ashingdon (Lele) who teaches music. They spend many nights together in The Lowerton Arms. Belinda has a cottage in the village but she spends much of her time at Lowewood and Mr Shaftebotham has suggested on a few occasions that she might like to live in.  Sadly, not in his house!

Email: MissBellend@lowewood-academy.co.uk